Welcome to Craggy Island
by Schizoprenic-Squirrel
Summary: Welcome to Craggy Island, where we are not racist, just highly opinionated. Supposed to be funny. Oneshot, no Yaoi.


YAY!! Yet another attempt at a humorous oneshot!! Which will probably fail. --;

Oh well!! Anyways, this is based off of the comedy 'Father Ted'. But I'm using Yu-Gi-Oh! characters instead!! No surprise there huh?

So, onto the cast of characters!!

Seto- John

Mai- Mary

John and Mary are a couple who run a shop on Craggy Island, they act like they're infatuated with each other in public, but when nobody's looking, they try to kill each other.

Marik- Father Jack

He's been drunk for 12 years, finally gets sober in just one episode, and then goes right back to being drunk as hell.

Jou- Father Dougle

He's the idiot of the group. I'm not picking on Jou or anything, but he automatically comes to mind when you think of Dougle or the word idiot. Right? Sorry Jou!!

Yami- Father Ted

The sanest of them all. He was sent to Craggy island by Bishop Brennen. As punishment. So he's stuck on the island with Dougle the cabbage and Jack the drunk. xD

Anzu- Mrs. Doyle

The Housekeeper.

Bakura- Father Dick Byrn

Father Ted's rival. He never wins anything against him.

I can't remember if there's anyone i forgot, but oh well!!

Disclaimers- I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or father ted.

Welcome to Craggy Island

Welcome to Craggy Island. I would like ot welcome you all, your all, you war, your war, you all, and we here hope that your stay here with us is a happy one. Here on Craggy Island, where we are no racist, just highly opinionated. This is where the shops are, on the south part of our isolated little island. Ah, hello! That's Mai and Seto, they run the General Store. They're a lovely couple, aren't they? ...Was that a gunshot? Oh, well that doesn't sound good. It was probably Tom. He's how you tell your on the island, you now. If you see a man with a shirt that says 'I Shot JR' then that's Tom. You know your here. What's that? Why are there no landmarks? Oh, well that's because the island itself is more of a landmark. The general rule is that if your headed away from the island, your going in the right directions. Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I've forgotten to introduce myself! I'm Yami, I work and live at the parochial house with Jonouchi and Marik. Were all fathers in the catholic church, you know. Of course, Jonouchi has something along the lines of ADHD, and Marik is usually drunk. Okay, he's _always_ drunk. Although he did get sober during Lent one time, but that was a few years ago. Mrs. Mazaki is our housekeeper, she usually makes the tea and cleans the roof and keeps the house tidy. You know, what a woman usually does. What? No, were not sexist!! Just as nobody here is racist. Were just highly opinionated. Now, let's take a bus to the north side of the island. Oh, hold on, my cell phone's ringing. Hello? What? How-- how did you know I was here? Wha-- DAMN YOU BAKURA!!

Ahem. Sorry about that. Oh, it looks like were here!

This is the north side of the island. Were in the field now. Well, it's not really a field, but it has less rocks than most places. Every year there's a carnival that comes by called 'Fun Land'. It contains events suck as Freak Pointing, The Whirly- go- round, The crane of death, but we only call it that because a child died there two years ago, there's also the Goading the fierce man, The tunnel of goats, and The spinning Cat. Jonouchi also claims that there is a spider baby, but that's probably just a rumor he heard on the Television. Down by the cliffs there's the Holy stone of Clonrichert. It used to be at Fermanagh, but it was moved here because it wasn't doing very good business. Lat year it was upgraded to a class two relic, you know. After someone was lured into it. But that's something different entirely. There's also the camping grounds, but very few people go there this time of year. There's St. Patrick's Hill, right over thee. During Lent you walk up it without socks, and then they chase you back down with a big plank. It's very popular with pilgrims, you know. Oh, and if you come out here to the cliffs during the night, the water glows. Oh, that's another thing I forgot to mention. The waters around the island are used as nuclear waste dumps by the british government. Nobody here really likes them, though. Oh, hello, Tom! Anyways, that's about it for the north side of the island. We should get on another bus and go east. Here we go. It doesn't take long ot get there from here. Ah, here we are. Thank you!

Now, this is the east side of the island. This is the magic road. It's one of those places where nature went haywire, you know. Water flows backwards if you park a car and don't use the parking break, it rolls up the hill instead of down it. That sort of thing. There's also St. Kevin's stump. And the picnic area is right up there. It's not really a picnic area at all, it's more like a bug piece of flat rock that's buried in the ground. That's pretty much al that's here, really. The Parochial house is in the middle of the island, so we can probably walk back from here. Hm? What about the west side of the island? Well, it used to be there a few years ago, but we had a spot of bad wether. And it sort of, well, broke off of the island. It was very beautiful when it was there, though. Very nice. Here we are.

Well, your room is up the stairs, and the first room on your right. The blue one. Would you like a cup of tea? I'll get Mrs. Mazaki to make you one. Jonouchi is out playing football**(1)** with Malik. Ah, I'd be careful there. Marik is very bad around people he doesn't know all that well. And people he does know... but anyways, welcome to our humble little island. Where we are not racist, just very highly opinionated.

End

The end of my little oneshot!!

**(1)**-- Football is soccer in Ireland/ England.

This was told totally from Yami's point of view, in a way, and I can't remember if it's 1st 2nd or 3rd person... yea... sorry about that... ;

Hope y'all enjoyed it!!


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